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Sunday, October 23, 2005

It was such a busy day today. firstly i have theory lessons then got guitar.. and i am not feeling well.. think having a lil fever and sore throat.. i have difficulty in breathing too.. its terrible.. but i like it ! haha somehow when i am sick, my family gives me more attention.. hahaha
then at nite i went to give pineapple present.. chatted a while at the bus stop then i went home.. went home liao immediately and went to eat dinner with parents and their friends..
i also chatted with Eme at 1 am something! haha pro..
today i also went to jp pet shop.. the dogs there were soo cute!! then i called my papa and ask him if he could buy me a dog.. then he say wait for my results from o lvl.. but my mama just don agree... she say i not responsible enough.. haha true.. i also complained about them not letting me have a dog and shattered my teenage life.. haha excuses excuses!
i wanted a dog becoz i feel that they are better than humans.. humans give hypocrite comments.. make ppl sad and angry.. a dog will always be faithful.. i can tell him all my troubles.. although i do adore hamsters.. but i feel a dog is a more loyal companion..
even though from primary school till now, i have tons of best friends, but i will feel lonely.. now i know that even you got the whole world as friends you will still be lonely and not satisfied.. becoz everyone have their own life to take care to..they cant possibly be there all the time but only most of the time..
i will take care of the dog.. but i fear that one day i will have to say goodbye.. it really hurts.. till now i am still hurt by the fact that my fav hamster died 3 yrs ago.. think abt it can make me cry.. i felt i lost someone really important in my life.. he was such a gentle mouse.. one of a kind.. but who can understand.. to them they would tell me.. wats the big deal? its just a mouse..
its NOT just a mouse ok.. its my friend.. a friend who is always there for me.. a friend who is willing to listen to everything i've got to say and wont give a single hurting comment..
over the years, i have grown to be more compassionate and my attitude changes.. i am expecting things which i would never get.. expecting things that are forever, blissful and internal peace.. i guess everyone would feel that they are alone ba..
but is'nt the whole world thinking about the same thing? worrying about the same problem? so lets just face it and then try to change our life to be better ba. it may never seem perfect but as long as you are happy, who cares about perfection? hahahaha no wonder i am so happy these days.. i stopped searching for the impossible and create my own impossibles!

1:17 AM;;
♥ find your instrument~ ♥