Monday, August 28, 2006

Today is such a terrible day.

Firstly, i woke up at 7 when i was supposed to reach hospital at 8.

Then when i reach there, just realised i nv bring nametag......

And somemore, my teacher nv tell the facilitor i got exam today..

so in the end, 3 teachers there discussing abt my problem..

then the facilitator said that My lecturer Ms Siti e-mail her saying i have a course on 1st Sep..

That means on Sat i have to repay FULL day for them la...

i am speechless.

And it was so boring the whole morning.. sit there hear them talk..

the only thing i remember is there is a doc who wrote a medical report in FRENCH...

cool rite the doctor, i sure wld like to know him. =.=

by 11.00 i was sleeping already.

Ok.. now.. abt my piano exam..

haha...

Well.. the examiner is call Mr Taylor.. he has honest in music... was a director of an independent school and a chief examiner in the A lvl music exam..

i was totally shock when i read abt him...

Such a remarkable person.. i didnt want to embarrass myself in front of him..

But i made a total mess out of myself AGAIN.

he asked me to play chomatic in F#.. i told him not in my syllabus.. coz i thought its smth else la..

then he came over to play once for me and i remembered...

..... think my scales fail le la.

Then came the pieces part..

Erm.. 1st song not firm enough..

2nd song not fast enough.

3rd song not perfect enough.

I also sang wrongly in the oral test..

erm.. still got wat i did wrongly..

i did not pay enough attention..

I know its over.. but i am just sad.. becoz i know i can do better..

its like.. working so hard for so many months just for that 15mins to perform.. and i didnt perform my best..

You know.. in piano.. there are 2 types of playing..

one is playing from the book..

the other is playing out the feeling you want..

Sometimes when i play for my friends.. they would say its nice..

but.. deep inside me.. thats not the feeling i want.. it just does not feel rite..

the feeling i meant is sincerity and passion.

I took 5 years to finally understood and could almost reach that stage but.. i just plain forgotten abt it and played by the book..

But i can do better!!!

Well.. it teaches me a lesson here..

i used to play piano becoz i feel that i am obliged to..

It took me some time to realise how much i would really love to play it the way i want to sound..

that i play becoz of no one, not my teacher, not my parents..

But its easier said than done..

* take a deep breath

Its ok.. i understand this now..

it doesnt matter if i fail or pass...

My next goal now is Grade 7. i hope i will read this entry next year, to tell myself, just play wat you want to play inside. =)

but i am quite sad over it..

3:42 PM;;
♥ find your instrument~ ♥